I’m a Hot Mess

Hello, my name’s Mountain Goat, and I’m a hot mess.

Truth be told, I’ve always been a hot mess.  For a variety of reasons.  Right now, however, I’m, specifically a hot mess nutritionally.

Only a hot mess wears such an ensemble
Only a hot mess wears such an ensemble

You all know me as a veggie loving goat, always munching on some gross healthy concoction.  And that’s the way I’ve been for quite some time.

Like a green goat shake!
Like a green goat shake!

In 2007 I decided I would go vegetarian.  I didn’t know it would last, and I didn’t know if I would stick with it.  But here I am six years later and still going strong.

Stinky lentils and all!
Stinky lentils and all!

In 2010, Swim Bike Mom and I decided we would go vegan for a month.  I stuck with it longer.  Since then I’ve eaten vegan about 90% of the time.  I’ve recently added eggs back in to the mix but still try to avoid cheese and milk as much as possible.

Last year about this time, I was feeling really tired and icky, all the time.  So I went to see a holistic doctor – Taz Bhatia (who is awesome by the way).  She did some Alcat testing on me – which essentially tests you for allergies and sensitivities to foods and chemicals.  Surprisingly, the test showed that I had an allergy to rice and a sensitivity to gluten, wheat, rye, etc.  Blood tests also showed that I had super low levels of B12 and iron.

She recommended I go gluten free for a while and eliminate rice.  We added in some B12, iron and magnesium to help me sleep at night.

True.  Totally true.
True. Totally true.

When I do something, I am an all or nothing kind of person.  I am not very good at doing anything half way.  I never have been.  So I took the doctor’s orders to heart.  I went gluten free and cut out my beloved rice. I also was eating vegan.  I didn’t eat any processed crap.  And I felt great.

Me, sans gluten and dairy and processed for two months.  I think it looked pretty good on me...oh, what's that?  The champagne is processed and not gluten fee...opps....
Me, sans gluten and dairy and processed for two months. I think it looked pretty good on me…oh, what’s that? The champagne is processed and not gluten fee…opps….

Everyone got on my back and told me I wasn’t eating enough, that I was too skinny, blah blah.  However, I was eating plenty – I was just eating real food, which I think confused everyone.

This says it all.
This says it all.

I eventually fell off the wagon.  And when I’m off the wagon- I’m off the wagon.

The wreckage from me and the little brother hanging out and enjoying our favorite thing - candy and pizza!!!
The wreckage from me and the little brother hanging out and enjoying our favorite thing – candy and pizza!!!

And let me just say I’m off the wagon again.  Ever since the Marathon, I’ve been eating like a hoss.  Then Mama Goat came to visit last Tuesday with an entire full sized suitcase of goodies. And if you’ve ever had them, well then, you know…

A small smattering.  And I mean small.
A small smattering. And I mean small.

I started off with a few here and there… Then came some pizza, then came some Italian and then came some buffet action and….it was out of control.  I was eating butter, and bread and cheese and endless cookies.  Out. Of. Con. Trol.  Yikes.

I can't count how many times we've had this over the past month...it's just. so. good.
I can’t count how many times we’ve had this over the past month…it’s just. so. good.

I thought I would detox and regroup on Monday.  Then Monday came and I ate a crap ton of cookies again!  And Tuesday came – and I ate pizza, fries, more cookies!

I woke up today feeling just awful.  Ridiculously awful and completely disgusted with myself.  So today, my friends, I decided I would start anew.  I spent some time googling juice detox diets and so forth.

junk body

I work so hard on my body so it can do all the things I force it to do.  All the things I GET to do.  So why am I abusing it so with all this crap?

So today after my workout I headed to the Ardens Garden near my house and loaded up on juices.

Shah Law Firm Fridge.  You can guess who's is who's
Shah Law Firm Fridge. You can guess who’s is who’s

And so today, I had fresh green juice, a raw red pepper, and an egg white/veggie omelet with salad and oven roasted potatoes (I’m sorry, I can’t do just juice all day).  I just had some Bija Tulsi Tea as my “after dinner treat.”  Pooky has locked the cabinets and snacks are off limits.  I’m dying here.  Dying.

Yes, this is really a bike lock on the snack cabinet.
Yes, this is really a bike lock on the snack cabinet.

What? Locked cabinets you think that’s odd?  Well, this isn’t the first time this has been.  You see, even when I’m eating perfectly clean, at night I tend to be a little Snack-a-saurus Rex….so on occasion I beg Pooky to help me help myself.  So he got the idea to lock the cabinets after a certain time each night.  And so the locking begins again.

I plan to do the same super strict (well super strict to me!) diet again through Friday.  Fresh juice during the day and one small healthy meal at night with nothing else to follow.

Devastating to find out....
Devastating to find out….

After three days of this, I’m then going to go back to normal living.  However, I plan to be really strict with my no gluten, no dairy and to stay away from processed crap and endless snacks.  I don’t know how long it will last, but thought it might give me a little more accountability if I blasted it on the blog.  So wish me luck and better yet – join me.  I will post some recipes along the way.  Let’s clean the crap out!

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